The wrath of Yosef’s brothers descends him to the depths of a solitary pit. Seems harsh, but there are great lessons to be learned in peeling through the layers of this tale in order to understand what factors motivate all the players to act in the way they do. In other words, we ask the common question in the midst of a dispute – who started it? Let’s again trace back through the time continuum of Parshat Vayeshev (ala Doc Brown’s DeLorean time machine) to discover the source of the sibling rivalry. Stop #1: Dreams Lead to Nightmare
It often seems that the cause of this sibling rivalry lays in Yosef’s infamous dreams of self-grandeur, which he eagerly shares with members of his family. In one dream Yosef and his brothers are binding sheaves in the field when the brother’s sheaves encircle Yosef’s and prostrate themselves to his sheaf. In a second dream the sun, moon and eleven stars (likely symbolic of his eleven brothers) bow to Yosef. Yosef openly shares these dreams with his brothers. Wouldn’t you get fed up with a sibling who tells you that he dreams about you serving him one day??
The dreams are certainly a main source of the brother’s frustration, and appear in the text just prior to the brothers digging the infamous pit into which Yosef is tossed. Now, I’m not a psychologist, but it seems to me that dreams might emerge from one of two places. I suppose one explanation for dreams could be that they are some sort of divinely inspired message about what’s to come. In the case of Yosef this would be the p’shat (simple) interpretation. The dreams indicate that one day Yosef will ascend in status above his brothers. A second explanation for dreams in that they are a manifestation of forces an individual is managing during real time waking hours. In this possibility we need to return to our travel back through time along the time continuum to identify the source for Yosef’s rather large ego.Stop #2: The Ketonet Passim
“And Yisrael loved Yosef more than all his sons, because he was a son of his old age; and he made him a ketonet passim. And his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, so they hated him, and they could not speak with him peacefully.” (Bereshit 37:3-4)
Our time travel leads us to a rather significant moment in which Yisrael (aka Ya’akov) cultivates Yosef’s strong ego by passing down a special gift. What exactly is the ketonet passim? According to one well known contemporary commentator:Jacob wanted to show the world he loved his son,
To make it clear that Joseph was the special one
So Jacob bought his son a coat,
a multi-colored coat to wear.
To make it clear that Joseph was the special one
So Jacob bought his son a coat,
a multi-colored coat to wear.
… it was red and yellow and green and brown,
And scarlet and black and ochre and peach
And ruby and olive and violet and fawn,
And ruby and olive and violet and fawn,
-Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber
Traditional scholars offer varying opinions. The word “ketonet” is generally thought to mean a “coat” or “tunic,” but the word “passim” is more widely interpreted. The Living Torah provides the following summary:
The word passim can be translated as “colorful” (Radak; Septuagint), “embroidered” (Ibn Ezra; Bachya; Nachmanides on Exodus 28:2), “striped” (Ibn Janach; Radak, Sherashim), or “illustrated” (Targum Yonathan). It can also denote a long garment, coming down to the “palms” of the hands (Rashbam; Ibn Ezra; Baaley Tosafoth; Midrash Rabbah), and the feet (Lekach Tov). Alternatively, the word denotes the material out of which the coat was made, which was fine wool (Rashi) or silk (Ibn Janach). Hence, Ketonet passim, may be translated as “a full-sleeved robe,” “a coat of many colors,” “a coat reaching to his feet,” “an ornamented tunic,” “a silk robe,” or “a fine woolen cloak.”
The controversy continues as scholars debate the origins of the coat. Most trace it back to a garment belonging to Adam, the first man. Some point to it as another item claimed by Ya’akov when he stole the birthright from Esav. The great debate surrounding the ketonet’s manufacturer and design further emphasize its value, and help us understand why it led to such enormous tension when bestowed upon Yosef instead of becoming a family hand-me-down for all to wear at some point.
Anyone with siblings can relate in some way to this saga. We all have our moments when we wonder whether our parents favor one child over the other(s). Often these moments emerge from a sense of jealousy when our siblings one up us on a report card, receive more desirable gifts then those given to us, or – heaven forbid – are granted a privilege we were denied (twenty years later and I’m still resented by my older sib because my parents allowed me to attend a co-ed sleepover in high school even though she was denied the privilege at the same age … and her sleepover was at the home of her camp director … and there were camp counselors present … but I digress).
Alas, in the case of Yosef there is no subtlety. Yisrael makes his favoritism crystal clear by wrapping his beloved Yosef in a ketonet passim, a type of nice garment. You’d think that if Yisrael truly favored Yosef he would do everything to keep him safe. Instead, the ketonet passim serves as a bumper sticker that reads “DADDY’S FAVORITE” or, more to the point, “KICK ME!”
Finger Pointing Yields Lessons for All
Our journey is done, and yet we seem to find fault in all the players.
Brothers: While the dreams are certainly an understandable source of frustration, our tradition eventually makes clear the prohibition against envy and anger. Many of the brothers are old enough to manage these frustrations in a more constructive manner. The sources are endless, ranging from the first appearance of the 10 Commandments in Shemot:“You shall not covet your neighbor's house.” (Shemot 20:13)
To a mishna in Pirkei Avot:
“Who is strong? The one who conquers their urges. Who is rich? The one who rejoices in their portion.” (Pirkei Avot 4:1)
To a wonderful allegory one of my teachers shared with me from Ibn Ezra on the tenth commandment:
“You shall not covet” – Many people question this commandment: how can a person not desire something that is beautiful in his heart, that is, anything that looks beautiful to him?... Imagine a common villager who is normal and intelligent who sees the daughter of the king who is extremely beautiful. He will not covet her in his heart thinking that he will sleep with her, for he will know that it would be impossible. Likewise [this same villager] will not think, like some crazy person, that he wants to have wings so that he can fly up to the heavens – this would be impossible [and therefore he will not desire it].Likewise, any intelligent person should know that a beautiful woman or money will not be given to him because of his wisdom, but he understands that he has only what God has decided to give him. As Kohelet has said: “[For sometimes a person whose fortune was made with wisdom, knowledge, and skill must hand it on to be] the portion of somebody who did not toil for it” (Ecclesiastes 2:21). And the sages said: “the length of a person’s life, the number of children, and the amount of food/money they have, is not dependent on merit but is dependent on luck (mazal)” (Bavli Moed Katan 28a). And because of this the intelligent person will not desire and covet.” (Ibn Ezra Exodus 20)
Each of us encounters personalities and material possessions that are variations on the majestic ketonent passim and dreams of dominance associated with Yosef. At mimimum we must conjure the strength to subdue our inclination to allow feelings of jealousy to drive us forward. Ideally, we even remind ourselves that our current lot in life is already a source of great fortune.
Yosef: Eventually we will learn that Yosef’s dreams were not so far-fetched. Chapters later he has rebounded from the pit incident, saving Egypt and the surrounding territories from famine and quite literally facing his brothers who bow before him asking for food and forgiveness. Still, Yosef would have been well served by a nice dose of humility. He could have accepted the overly generous gift from his father, but shared his good fortune with his brothers. Additionally, he could have been the world’s first bedtime journalist rather than flaunting his dreams aloud.
Yosef eventually earns the surname “Ha’Tzadik” or “righteous” for his resistance of Potiphar’s wife, leadership in Egypt, and forgiveness of his brothers. But Rabbi Sharon Mars points to the fine line that Yosef walks between “Tzadik” and “Tzadik Beinav” (righteous in his eyes or self-righteousness). Another lesson from Parshat Vayeshev is to be weary of our inclination to be tzadik beinai.Yisrael/Ya’akov: Once again our beloved biblical hero – one of our three main forefathers – has “ooopsed.” Again, I’m still not a psychologist, but it seems likely that Yisrael’s favoritism towards Yosef stems from his own father’s favoritism of Esav. …but when will the cycle stop? We all hope that parents demonstrate their love towards their kids on a regular basis, but Parshat Vayeshev yields to relevant lessons. First, while children have different needs and interests, they all have a basic need for equal love and attention. It may very well be human to feel connected more strongly to one particular child, parents must be disciplined to ensure that kids feel an equal amount of love. Second, while flashy gifts may find favor in your child’s eyes, they can also build a sense of resentment amongst peers. Exercise moderation in ketonet passim-esque gift giving! A more meaningful gift is in time spent together and not in flashy toys. Sounds cliché, but it is too true. When I was younger one of my grandmothers would often announce that she had a “treat” for me. Upon hearing the declaration my mind raced with dreams of new toys, candy, or perhaps cash! My young heart sank when the “treat” turned out to be an outing to a museum or a tiny children’s theater. …and yet those memories have long outlasted any trinkets I got (and soon after lost or broke) as a kid.
A Passim Treat for All
I recommend choosing vegetables that span the color palette, and which balance each other in terms of taste and texture. Additionally, I highly recommend featuring a fruit in the mix – very unexpected and delicious. Not only does the process of roasting the vegetables bring forth bold flavors, but it also brings out the juice in each item. As a result, salad dressing is hardly needed (full disclosure: I don’t care for most salad dressings and rarely dress salad to start).
For this variation I selected red and yellow peppers, orange butternut squash, green asparagus, red beets … and Bartlett pears. The salad was then studded by ruby red pomegranate seeds. Typically I lean towards a garlic/rosemary flavor profile and roast my vegetables draped in these spices. This time I wanted to try something new, and also felt that the butternut squash and pears screamed for a less savory match. Instead, I went with generous heapings of cinnamon, cardamom, and coriander (in addition to salt and pepper). This gave the vegetables and pears a sweet, almost African twist. Yum! The firmer the vegetable, the longer it must roast. Beets were in the oven for an hour (simply wrapped in tin foil), squash and peppers for 45 minutes, asparagus for 20 minutes and pears for 10 minutes.In honor of the ketonet passim, the salad was colorful (Radak; Septuagint) and the vegetables arranged in striped lines (Ibn Janach; Radak, Sherashim).
ROASTED VEGETABLE SALAD
Yields: 8-10 servings
Ingredients:
12 oz. butternut squash, seeded and cubed
1 large red onion, sliced into ½-inch thick rings
2 red peppers, seeded and quartered
2 yellow peppers, seeded and quartered
½ cup diced pineapple or nectarine
8 stalks asparagus
1 Tbsp. honey
Chopped garlic
Chopped rosemary
Course sea salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Ground cardamom
Ground coriander
Olive oil spray
½ cup dried blueberries (or cranberries)
Instructions:
- Preheat oven to 425° F. Line two baking sheets with aluminum foil.
- Roast vegetables as follows, sprinkling with salt/pepper and spraying with olive oil.
- Red onion and peppers - also sprinkle with garlic and rosemary; roast 30 minutes.
- Pineapple or nectarines - sprinkle with salt, drizzle with honey and roast 15 minutes.
- Asparagus - also sprinkle with garlic and rosemary; roast ten minutes.
- Once cooled, dice onion, peppers, fruit and asparagus into large, bite-sized pieces. Arrange items on top of lettuce mix in rows (consider red pepper, butternut squash, fruit, asparagus, red onion, yellow pepper) and sprinkle with dried berries.
